Five Years Plus

{August 10, 2013}   Cancer is not an Emergency

It seems natural that a cancer diagnosis leads to panic. I was not immune to this feeling in the days following my recent diagnosis. I wanted to control the tests I had, the timing of my surgery and have it almost all wrapped up by mid-September, ready to get on with my life.

Meeting with my surgeon last Monday was like a breath a fresh air. “Good to see you”, she said. It was in fact nice to see her, even though I didn’t really want to be sitting in her office again. She deals with breast cancer every day and exudes a matter-of-fact calmness while still maintaining an excitement about the advances in her field. Together we worked out what to do.

Every person and each individual cancer is different. The initial pathology report suggests that mine is not immediately dangerous. I am planning surgery and am waiting to hear when this can be scheduled. In the meantime every appointment takes its toll on my mental health. I feel pretty good most of the time, however, in the early morning hours anxiety hits. Usually discussing my worries with Chuck helps relax me so I can get back to sleep.

Overall I’ve shifted from panic to patience, accepting that each step takes time and trusting that the process will unfold exactly as it should. At times I have glimpses of optimism that we can figure this thing out and I can come through healthier and better than ever.


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